Family is such a wonderful and beautiful gift from the Lord. It can be (and was designed to be) such a great source of joy, love, honor, respect, and mutual communication, but what happens when it’s not?
Many people out there, myself included, struggle with family. For me, family has been nothing but a great source of pain and despair. My mom tried to kill me (yes, physically) as a child. My grandpa did bad stuff to family members, my grandma is a piece of work for sure, and my dad was never around. He left when he found out my mom was pregnant.
Family is not always a pretty thing. It can be extremely complicated and you just don’t know how to deal with it or what to do.
For example, the first verse in this list is about honoring your parents. That’s not always easy. How do I honor my mom who tried to murder me?
How do I show her love and respect when she continually manipulated me and everyone around me while she was alive. I tell you the truth, she was the first, in God’s judgment, to die. Her actions were so severe against me, her heart so evil, that God allowed her to die, in her sin, as punishment to her, for all she has done to me over the years. God DOES punish. He’s a fair and righteous judge. He loves us, but He will protect His children and the only way to protect me from her, was for Him to cause her to die and remove her from my life altogether.
And as bad as my mom is, Hunter’s mom is worse! While she never tried to kill him, her heart is evil and wicked just the same. She pretends, to the world, to be some amazing lady, a Christian even, and people believe she is. She goes to church, has run a women’s Bible study, very involved in the church, etc. and has everyone fooled.
Not only is she not who she says she is, she’s not a genuine believer. She fools everyone else AND herself into thinking she’s saved, but she’s not. Her husband (Hunter’s dad) knows she’s not saved. According to him, she does not walk in the ways of the Lord, her heart is hardened, she does not know God, and she oppresses her husband (she’s a dictator, tyrant, ruler who governs brutally) to her husband.
He quietly bears all this, not saying anything (which God calls him to do but he has not done), so, God has called ME to speak up and say something. I will obey God, no matter HOW difficult it is for me, and I assure you, this post is VERY, VERY difficult for me, but commanded to me by the Lord to write it, so therefore I must.
A long time ago, around 10 years ago, Hunter’s mom and I were really close friends. We went to church together, hung out together, etc. I went grocery shopping with her, her husband helped me fix some things around the house, her and I were just very close and so we talked a lot. We talked about everything, including her marriage.
Her husband (Hunter’s dad) built a garage. And that’s where it all went downhill she said. She was so mad at him for building a separate garage (after the house was already built) because it covered her grass. The kids wouldn’t have enough grass outside to play on because this garage he built took up so much land and space, she said.
I’ve been in the garage, which her husband built himself. I have to admit, as anyone would admit just seeing it, it is REMARKABLE!!!! It’s definitely the COOLEST garage you’ll ever see in your life. Very impressive! He did an amazing and professional job and should be commended on his work, instead of harped on by his wife.
In a time when she should have supported him, helped him even, it became a source to her of hatred, disgust, and bitterness in their marriage.
She allowed bitterness of this garage to enter into her heart and it took root. She told me she started withholding sex from him because he built the garage, which is sin to withhold.
Ten years later, they STILL are in the same situation. Megan is still bitter at him and her and Radar never spend much time together now, though, they never really did when I was her friend 10 years ago either. They’re just kinda living together. It’s sin to divorce and so, they stay married, but it’s a really hard way to live. I’ve had a marriage like that. I know how tough it can be. There’s no love, only hatred and bitterness as the underbelly as well as the pain of living with an unsaved person. She’s in total and complete sin, not saved, not willing to change, and oppressing Hunter’s dad like a tyrant.
It affected me because she started getting jealous of me, in various ways, and sought out to destroy me (subtly). It was HER who started this whole mess with Kyle. It was HER that went to the church, all those years ago to tell on me to the church, how I liked Kyle and stuff. She did what was evil back then and my life has been an utter hell in suffering the last 10 years because of it.
Although I would say very clearly that while I understand Satan used HER to start all this mess, Satan would have used anyone he could to stop me and Kyle from being together back then, for doing what God has called me to do: to be a witness to the entire world.
Satan wants to thwart God’s plans and so I don’t personally hold anything against her. God, of course, is VERY angry at her and she will be punished for all that she’s done, by God (not me).
But how do you honor your mom in such a case? When she’s oppressing your dad, faking to the church and to the world that she’s a good Christian and you know better because you see through it? When she harmed your fiance and initially caused your fiance to suffer for 10 years. How do you deal with all that? How do you honor her? Because the Bible says, “Honor your father and mother.” It doesn’t say, “Honor your father and mother only if they deserve it.”
We are to honor our parents, regardless of if they deserve it or not and many do not deserve it. Sin runs rampant in our day and age, just as it did in the Bible times.
You honor them by not allowing them to do destructive work in your life. You honor them by treating them nicely, kindly, even though they are mean to you.
You spend time with them, when they are being good, and when they are doing destructive or harmful things, you have nothing to do with them. You hold respect in your heart for them. And you do not tell their sins openly, as I am doing now. Here’s the thing…Hunter CAN’T tell the world what she’s REALLY like, in order to not sin (Exodus 20:12) and he doesn’t want to sin, so I guess God has called ME to do it. She’s not my mom. I don’t have to honor her in the same way that Hunter is required to. I want to live in peace, of course, we don’t go around bashing people, but I cannot hide her sin when God is directly commanding me to tell it. Ultimately, we obey God over man.
Yes, family is not always easy to deal with, but God makes a way (1 Corinthians 10:13). If there’s no door, there’s a window to escape from, but there’s always a way of escape. You’re welcome Hunter, for being your window.
Above all, when dealing with family that is tough, make it a matter of prayer and continue to obey the Lord no matter what. God never wants, nor condones, Christians to be treated like a doormat or to be oppressed by others, no matter where that abuse is coming from, and Radar SHOULD speak up. He should go to his church and tell them all that is happening with his wife. While he can’t just divorce her because she’s not left him or had a physical affair, he should not continue to allow her to abuse him privately. It’s not okay.
Abuse is never okay.
If you’re being abused, do not let it continue. You have to seek help in the situation where you’re at locally and call on God to help you. There IS a way. For this family, THIS…is their window. God loves them, cares for them, and seeks the highest good for them.
Do not allow abuse in your life. Honoring your parents doesn’t mean to allow them to abuse you. You’re not a doormat to be trampled upon. You’re a valuable human being, loved, cherished, and created by God Himself. ❤️
Hopefully, that helps you a little bit to understand that you’re not alone, that there IS help, and that God loves you so much. Let these 50 Bible verses about family wash over your heart and mind and help you through any family situation you may be facing today!!!
50 Bible Verses About Family
1) Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
2) Deuteronomy 6:6-7
“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
3) Psalm 127:3-5
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”
4) 1 Corinthians 11:3
“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”
5) Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
6) 1 Timothy 5:8
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
7) Colossians 3:18-21
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
8) Ephesians 6:1-4
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
9) Genesis 18:19
“For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”
10) 1 Timothy 3:4-5
“He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?”
11) Acts 16:31-34
‘And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family. Then he brought them up into his house and set food before them. And he rejoiced along with his entire household that he had believed in God.”‘
12) Proverbs 15:17
“Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.”
13) Genesis 28:14
“Your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south, and in you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed.”
14) Ephesians 5:33
“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
15) Genesis 2:24
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
16) Deuteronomy 6:6-9
“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
17) Proverbs 11:29
“Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise of heart.”
18) Psalm 103:13
“As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.”
19) Malachi 4:6
“And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”
20) Acts 10:2
“A devout man who feared God with all his household, gave alms generously to the people, and prayed continually to God.”
21) Psalm 100:5
“For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”
22) Romans 12:18
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
23) Matthew 18:20
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
24) Joshua 24:15
“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
25) Isaiah 66:13
“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.”
26) Proverbs 12:4
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
27) Psalm 103:17-18
“But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments.”
28) Proverbs 17:6
“Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.”
29) Luke 11:13
“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
30) Proverbs 31:15
“She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.”
31) 1 Peter 3:7
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
32) Ephesians 5:22-24
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
33) Ephesians 5:25-30
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”
34) 1 Peter 3:1-5
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,”
35) Psalm 128:3
“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.”
36) 1 John 4:20
“If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.”
37) 3 John 1:4
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
38) Colossians 3:13
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
39) Proverbs 17:17
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
40) Psalm 133:1
“Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”
41) Proverbs 6:20
“My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.”
42) Deuteronomy 5:16
“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
43) Titus 2:4-5
“And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
44) Psalm 27:10
“For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.”
45) Proverbs 15:27
“Whoever is greedy for unjust gain troubles his own household, but he who hates bribes will live.”
46) Proverbs 13:22
“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.”
47) Psalm 132:12
“If your sons keep my covenant and my testimonies that I shall teach them, their sons also forever shall sit on your throne.”
48) Proverbs 13:1
“A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.”
49) Luke 6:31
“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”
50) 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”